The purest of pain
by ASJEO
Summary: She had tried to be brave, to hold in her cries when the pain sliced through her. She had tried not to squeeze tightly on the hand that was gripping hers. She had failed.


**Sooo…. this is a new for me... **

**I don't want to give anything away so enjoy and I'll see you at the end.**

**Oh, I kinda messed with the timeline, this is set in season 10 of SG1. **

Sam gingerly pulls herself from the shower, wrapping a towel around her dripping, aching body before she moves slowly into her bedroom. She has never before felt so exhausted, she's certain. She thinks back to the mission where she was hunted by the super soldier, she thought she had known exhaustion then, but this? This is like nothing she has ever known.

Her body aches with every step, even the smallest of movement, as she recovers from what she thinks may be the worst pain she has ever experienced. She thinks back to the Goa'uld hand device and the various torture methods used by the system Lords that she and SG1 have encountered, she thinks about the head injury on the Prometheus and the numerous other injuries that she's received over the last eight years. None of that compares to the pain that had engulfed her just a few days ago.

She slowly lowers herself until she's sat on her bed, wincing as the pain spreads and splinters. For a moment, she wonders if her tolerance for pain is decreasing as she ages, but no, she shakes her head, what she has been through had been nothing short of horrendous.

She remembers whispered words of comfort, of assurance that everything was going to be okay and that the pain would be over soon.

She had tried to be brave, to hold in her cries when the pain sliced through her. She had tried not to squeeze tightly on the hand that was gripping hers. She had failed.

Sam slowly begins to dry her damp skin, taking her time before reaching for the small pile of clothes that she had left on her bed a little while ago. This will be the first time she's worn real clothes in days.

She dresses slowly, taking her time and moving as carefully as she can. The pain is decreasing with each day, it's already much better than it was, but it's a kind of pain that she has never felt before, and right now, a pain she believes she will never face again.

She stares at her pillow, wondering if there's any way that she can take a few minutes to rest, maybe even sleep but she knows that she can't. Her team will be here soon, eager to see her. She had held them off for as long as she could, overwhelmed with recent events, but she knows that they won't stay away much longer so today is the day.

Sam pulls her shirt over her head and sits, fully dressed on her bed, unmoving for just a few precious moments. She frowns as she hears somethings downstairs, music? Are they here already?

She takes a few minutes to apply some make up, not sure it makes any difference to her pale complexion or the dark circles under her eyes.

She inhales as she stares at her reflection in the mirror, this will have to do. As she pulls open her bedroom door, she hears a familiar melody and can't repress the knowing smile that spreads across her lips.

Silently, she thanks whoever is listening that, even after moving, she still lives in a one storey house. She doesn't even want to think about attempting a full flight of stairs.

The music gets louder as she approaches the living room. When she finally gets there, she lets out a burst of air, unsure if it's a laugh or if her chest is about to implode. The music continues, its familiar melody and lyrics suddenly have a new dimension...

"_I guess you'd say_

_What can make me feel this way?_

_My girl,_

_Talkin' 'bout my girl"_

Her husband stands in the middle of the room, his lips are moving, and she thinks she can hear him quietly singing along. Their tiny daughter rests in the palm of his hands, her head resting in one palm and her back and bottom in the other as he gently moves and sways to the music.

She has never seen anything so incredibly beautiful in her entire life. Stars, double sunsets, entire galaxies? Nothing compares to this.

Her heart feels so full that it may well burst, this is a love like nothing she has ever felt in her entire life. All the clichés that she had once rolled her eyes at, all the comments from people who told her she wouldn't truly understand until she experienced it, they were true.

"Hey," he approaches her, still swaying, gently bouncing the tiny infant in his arms. He presses his lips again hers briefly. "You look beautiful."

She looks at him with a raised eyebrow but chooses to say nothing, instead she rubs a gentle finger across her daughter's forehead.

"Did you sleep?" he asks, hoping that she has. He nods as she shakes her head.

"Did she?" Sam asks, noting her husband's snort. This baby is not a fan of sleep.

They both stare as the baby lies, seemingly fully content in her father's hands, her eyes wide open as he continues to gently move to the music.

Sam moves, gently wrapping her arms around him from behind, her chest is pressed against his back and she rests her chin against the back of his shoulder.

She didn't think it was possible that she could love him anymore, but seeing him with their child has kicked her, already overwhelming love for him into overdrive.

He has been nothing short of incredible since she gave birth, in fact, since she'd found out she was pregnant. And over the last few days, watching as he talks to their new-born, changes her, comforts her when she cries, Sam realises just how lucky she is.

He starts to move again, and for a few moments the three of them gently sway to the sound of the Temptations.

"_I don't need no money, fortune, or fame_

_I've got all the riches baby one man can claim_

_I guess you'd say_

_What can make me feel this way?_

_My girl_

_Talkin' 'bout my girl."_

They are disturbed by the sound of the doorbell and Sam takes a deep breath, pulling away from her little family.

"'You sure you're ready for this?" He asks, gently shifting until his daughter is cradled in his arms. "I can ask them to come back-"

"It's okay." Again, she pressed her lips against his, reassuringly.

She had thought that she would want to see her friends right away, that she would want the most important people in her life around her constantly, around her child too. It had surprised her when, just hours after giving birth, having had a couple of visitors she asked her husband to turn people away. She couldn't explain why, and he didn't ask her to, but she had felt nothing like she thought she would.

Part of it is wanting to be with her child, to know her, to love her without prying eyes and hands. Part of it is that she just doesn't feel up for company, between hormones, the pain, the lack of sleep and a completely changed body, she just doesn't feel like herself.

She knows that she could easily keep people away longer, her husband had assured her that they could wait as long as she'd wanted, forever if she chose.

But she also knows that the longer she puts it off, the harder it gets. So today is the day.

She reaches for the door and inhales deeply before pulling it open. There, stood in front of her is her team. Daniel stands with a large teddy, Teal'c and Vala both hold flowers and Cam holds what looks like a basket of fruit. The uneasiness in the pit of her stomach dissolves as Daniel takes a step forward and gently pulls her into a hug.

"Hey," he whispers, "you look great." He kisses her cheek softly before letting go and allowing Teal'c to take his place.

They are all much quieter than she had expected, especially Vala. After greeting her team, she leads them to the kitchen, ready to pour refreshments, to allow them to drop their gifts off before they see the baby.

~SJ~

"Jack."

Jack turns to find Daniel stood in the centre of the living room, clinging to a teddy bear.

"Daniel." He takes a few steps towards his friend, still gently bouncing to ensure that his daughter doesn't fuss. "Nice bear." jack gestures to the fluffy teddy that Daniel is holding.

"Nice baby," Daniel smirks stepping forward, taking a good look at the little girl. "She's already changed so much."

Only Daniel and Teal'c had seen Sam and the baby, briefly after the birth. Daniel remembers stepping into the room and finding himself instantly moved as Sam sat with her daughter resting in her arms as Jack stood protectively by their side. He and Teal'c had stayed for just a few minutes, knowing that the birth hadn't been easy and that Sam was exhausted.

He had wanted to visit again the next day, to properly see and maybe hold the baby girl but Jack had asked if he could hold off, and if he could ask the others to do the same. And they had.

He watches Jack, the man who had been so very broken when he'd first met him, as he proudly gazes at his daughter and Daniel can't help but swallow the lump in his throat that has come from absolutely nowhere. He aims to pull himself together before Jack can catch his slip and ridicule him, but he has no such luck.

"'You okay?" He asks, concern and slight confusion evident in his tone. No joke. No hint of a tease.

"I uh, I'm just really happy for you, for you both." He doesn't quite know what's come over him, but he can't help that his voice is thick with emotion, he can't help that it breaks slightly. Jack steps towards him and places a hand on his shoulder.

"Gracie, this is your Uncle Daniel," he whispers, carefully handing the baby to the emotional archaeologist.

Handing his daughter to Daniel, the man who knows him better than almost anyone else, is one of the proudest moments of Jack's life. He clears his throat, watching as Daniel stares intently at the little girl.

"Hi," Daniel whispers, still choked up and so very shocked by how this moment has impacted him. "Jack, she's so beautiful."

"Of course she is, she looks like her mom." Jack strikes a gentle finger across Grace's cheek. He still can't believe how lucky he is, that he was given a second chance.

"There you are," Vala announces her arrival, and that of Sam and the rest of SG1. "And you got the first hold?" She folds her arms across her chest, pretending to be outraged.

"General, congratulations." Cam steps towards Daniel, gazing at Grace. "She's a beauty."

"Mitchell, I'm retired. Call me Jack."

"Jack..." Cam smiles. "She's a beauty."

~SJ~

Sam enters the kitchen from the backyard with Grace in her arms. She smiles, watching as Jack entertains the majority of the team whilst grilling a selection of food in the garden. He has made today so easy. She loves him so much.

She stops in her tracks, smiling as she finds Teal'c at the sink, washing up.

"You don't have to do that Teal'c," she tells him.

"It is done." He dries his hands and moves towards his friend. "May I?" Teal'c has waited until now to request to hold Grace, he had watched as Sam shifted restlessly in her seat whilst Cameron Mitchell and Vala had held Grace, he was certain that only he, Daniel and Jack had noticed. He had wanted the new mother to hold her own daughter again before he took his turn.

Sam stares as the giant Jaffa gently cradles her tiny daughter in his arms. She has always trusted Teal'c with her life, and she implicitly trusts him with Grace. There's something wonderfully comforting about knowing that the this man is going to be a part of her daughter's life.

"She is wonderful," Teal'c smiles broadly. "Are you well, Samantha?"

"I'm better," she tells him. She's doesn't think that Teal'c wants the ins and outs of her aches and pains or to hear about her initial breast feeding struggle. "This is all... so new but it's perfect, she's perfect."

"She is."

"I feel like..." Sam hesitates for a minute and Teal'c can see that she's thinking through what she wants to say. "I always knew that you had made sacrifices when you left Apophis and came to earth. But now," she gestures to Grace, "now I realise just how much you gave up for us."

"Leaving Ryac was the most difficult thing I have ever done. But when I think about what we have achieved and the future that he now has? It was a necessary sacrifice." There is a slight sadness in his eyes, but he masks it quickly. After a few moments of staring at Grace Teal'c speaks again. "Ryac is to be a father."

Teal'c had wanted to wait a few weeks before announcing his good news, wanting his friends to be the centre of attention at this special time in their lives but he feels compelled to tell the woman in front of him, his friend.

"Teal'c!" Her face lights up. "Congratulations!" She hugs him, careful not to disturb her daughter as she happily lies in Teal'c's arms.

"It seems," he returns his gaze to Grace, "that I will have double the chance to experience the things that I once missed."

~SJ~

"Do you mind if I come in?"

Sam had escaped to the study to feed Grace just a few minutes ago, still not quite comfortable with feeding and not totally sure she's comfortable feeding in front of her team.

"Come in," she tells Daniel who has popped his head in the door. She could never feel uncomfortable in front of him, he is like a brother, in fact, she is closer to him that she is her own brother. She thinks that years in a team together have formed an unbreakable bond between them but even more so, that their mutual love of knowledge in the early days linked them, along with Jack's dislike of the said knowledge.

"How's she doing?" Daniel sits himself across from her, placing a plate of food on the table in front of her. He had watched Sam flush slightly as Grace had started to fuss, making her hunger known just as they started eating, she had made her excuses and stepped inside just moments later.

"Well, she's happy as long as she's eating."

"Just like her father," Daniel quips, noting Sam's grin. "I don't think I've ever seen him so happy." The weight of Daniel's words is not lost on either of them, they both know about the loss of Charlie and the huge impact it had on Jack, they know that he barely survived that grief.

"You know," he starts, "there was a time when I wondered if this was going to happen, you and Jack." He thinks back to the years and years of unresolved emotions and unrest between his two best friends. He wishes he could have done more to ease their pain, to get them to this place sooner. He had tried to speak to each of them a number of times, he was always met with either Jack's anger or Sam's sadness and so he stopped.

"Hey," Sam scoffs, "you aren't the only one. I don't think anyone actually thought we would figure it out." She knows that she didn't. She thinks back to the longing, the hurt and the confusion. It all seems like such a long time ago now but at the time it had crushed her. She stares at her daughter, and she can't believe that something so perfect has come from something that was so painful for so long.

"Uh, I think Teal'c did," Daniel admits. Whenever he had spoken to Teal'c about their teammates situation the older man had quietly assured Daniel that everything would work out, eventually. "In fact, I don't think he ever questioned that you two wouldn't work it out. Who'd have thought that a 150 year old Jaffa would have been the most optimistic member of our team?" He shrugs.

Sam thinks back to her conversation with Teal'c in the locker room just a few months after Daniel's death when Jack was missing with Maybourne. She had given everything away at that moment, after years of trying to ensure that Daniel and Teal'c weren't impacted she had lost the will to lie. Teal'c had been unsurprised and never mentioned it again.

She thinks back to the only time she has ever truly shocked him, or at least the only time that he couldn't mask his shock. He had stared at her before stepping forward and taking her into his arms.

"_It would be an honor,"_ he'd choked out, refusing to release her from his hold.

A few months later she'd held his arm just as tightly as he proudly walked her towards Jack in their backyard, moments later they finally declared their love for each other in front of their friends.

"This suits you, you know?" Daniel tells ger softly, smiling as Grace continues to feed and Sam's free hand gently strokes her cheek.

"You think?" Sam returns his smile. "I didn't think it would ever happen… after Jolinar Janet didn't think that I could…" she trails off, she wishes that her friend was here to meet her daughter. Cassie would be coming in the next week or so and for that she was grateful.

"I miss her too, and I'm glad she was wrong," Daniel offers softly, he knows how much Sam still misses Janet and since then she has lost her father. They have been through so much.

"What about you?" Sam asks, regaining her composure.

"Me?"

"Yes, you. Are you seeing anyone?"

"Me?"

"Daniel," she sighs, cocking her head to the side. "I want you to be happy too."

Daniel stares at her for a moment, wondering just how much he should say but Sam knows him too well.

"There's someone?" she asks, her eyes wide with surprise, she had expected him to shut the conversation down.

"Nothing's happened but I'm…I feel… I think I feel-"

"Do I know her?" Sam asks, her interest peaked. Again, Daniel pauses and just like that Sam knows exactly what he's trying to say.

Vala.

She thought it would take longer for him to give in to her advances.

"It's complicated." Daniel watches as Sam's eyebrows rise, she knows exactly what that was like. "I don't know." He has been thinking about this for a while, he hasn't spoken to anyone about it and he's surprised that it's come up now but he's glad it has. He trusts Sam's judgement on things like this, she has always had his best interests at heart, and it helps that she's a little more in touch with her feelings that Jack and Teal'c.

"It's okay to try, Daniel. It's been a long time." She doesn't want to sound heartless, she knows that Daniel will always love Sha're but she also knows that Daniel is a man who has so much to give, if he would just allow himself. "You deserve happiness too."

Sam remembers Vala and Daniel quietly chatting, standing a little too close at the wedding. Vala had watched him intently as he gave his best man's speech, it was in that moment that Sam realised that Vala wasn't playing, that there really was something there.

"Just see what happens?" Sam shrugs.

"Thank you," he moves towards her, kissing her cheek. He has shared so much with this woman over the last ten tearsmand he is so happy that now he gets to watch her as a mother. He is about to ask her for some more advice when the door creaks open and Jack enters.

"How are we doing?" he asks, moving towards his wife and child, dropping a drink of water next to her and placing a gentle hand on the back of her neck.

"We are…good." Sam and Daniel exchange a glance that he can't quite figure out.

"What're you chatting about?" he asks as they share another glance, now he's really intrigued.

"I was just reminding Daniel about his best man's speech, and all of the beautiful things he said about love and how important it is."

"You should think about practising what you preach," Jack tells him.

"Where is everyone?" They hear Vala in the hallway.

"Speaking of," Jack smirks, watching as Daniel's eyes widen and his cheeks turn a distinct shade of pink. "I don't need the whole of SG1 watching my wife feed our daughter, why don't you go out there and…entertain for a few minutes."

As soon as Daniel is gone Sam shakes her head with a smirk. "That was mean."

"I'm right though, huh?" He grins proudly, Sam's face tells him everything he needs to know. "The sly old dog…"

~SJ~

"So, what did you think?" Jack asks his daughter as he cradles her against his chest. "I know, they're kinda… kooky but you'll grow to love them. Teal'c's gonna teach you how to fight one day. And Daniel? He's gonna teach you how to speak in a million different languages. Cam can teach you to bake cakes cause mommy and daddy sure can't. And Vala? I don't even want to think about what Vala is going to teach you."

Sam watches, leaning on the door frame, catching an intimate moment between father and daughter for the second time in one day. These are the moments she loves the most, watching them together. He is a better father than she ever could have imagined.

"And mommy is going to teach you how to sneak up on people," he turns to face her with a smile. "And how to blow up suns."

Sam kisses him, really kisses him for the first time in days. "I love you," she whispers, her thumb stroking his cheek.

"I love you too." He wraps his arm around Sam, pulling her tightly against his side. He thinks about the last ten years, and the difficult journey to get to this point. He thinks about her offer of an arm wrestle the first time she had met him; he thinks about the person that she has become and all the trials she's faced. He has never known anyone braver.

He wishes that he was as eloquent as Daniel, that he could express to her exactly how he feels every time she and Grace are in his arms. If anyone had told him, 10 years ago, that this was what his future would hold he would have laughed. But here he is, married and a father, again. He thought he'd rediscovered happiness on his wedding day, and he had, but now there's so much more.

He's disturbed from his thoughts as Grace begins to cry. Moments later Jack pretends to be busy, tidying up after their guests as Sam feeds their daughter and tenderly strokes her cheek. He hears her singing a familiar tune and can't help but smile.

_"I guess you'd say, what can make me feel this way? My girl."_

He silently thanks whoever is listening for giving him a second chance and bringing Samantha Carter into his life.

**It's so FLUFFY! I do not do fluff but then suddenly here it is and here they are and they're dancing and Jack is singing and then so is Sam and I don't know... it just happened... but I think I love them like this and I think I need them like this. **

**I know it's sickly sweet, possibly too sweet but hey, the muse wants what it wants. **

**I loved writing those little moments with Daniel and Teal'c too. Man, I love this team. **

**Thank you for taking the time to read, I would love to hear your thoughts about this fluff-fest.**


End file.
